A “Dear Lori” Letter

A “Dear Lori” Letter

Dear johnRecently, I was tasked to write a Dear John letter to my old self, in a nutrition course that I am currently taking. As you might know, I have a challenging and conflicted relationship with food and fitness, and this is what I feel makes me relatable to my clients. I try to be as transparent as I can be while helping them to look within themselves to see what old messages and old patterns they might be bringing on their journey with them.

So, in all transparency and in an effort to help others, my clients and my friends, I am choosing to share my Dear Lori letter with you. I hope that it stirs something within you, or propels you forward to perhaps write your own Dear ______ letter to your old self. (If you do write your own letter, send me a message or find me on FB and let me know)grace

This was not an easy thing to do, and I urge you to offer yourself grace and compassion if you choose to write your own letter.  For some of you, it may be that you get angry, or you cry, or you are compassionate. However you feel your “old self” will hear it, that is how you must write it.  For me, my old wounds come mostly from my childhood, so it was my child self that I had to be softer with. I chose to just write it, not really thinking too much about what I was writing, only how it made me feel as I was letting go of the old stuff.  It really was a cathartic exercise and one I am glad I did and I am glad to share with you.

In health and fitness

Coach Lori

Dear “old” me,

We have had a long run!  Since I was probably 10 years old I have had a roller-coaster ride with you.  Never feeling good enough, never feeling happy with myself, never feeling thin enough.  I watched you watching your mom always feeling the same way and you learned from her. She was a great mom in so many other ways but your brain took in all those patterns and started to put them on.Beautiful daughter

It was the 70’s and no one knew about sugar, or fat, or how processed foods would ruin our health. Plus you grew up in a grocery store for goodness sake….food and junk was always readily available.  And your 3:30 break from work pretty much always included a Pepsi and a chocolate bar/chips because you “deserved” it for all of your hard work.  You still feel you deserve food as recognition or reward!

 

I am not quite sure how you managed to drag all of this around with you for so long. But needless to say you dragged it into all of your friendships and your relationships and I can improveyour marriage.  A lot has happened to the old you….some scars that probably will never completely go away. But you have to know that hiding from feelings and covering them up and “dealing” with them with food is NOT the way to heal yourself. You need compassion and grace, acceptance and perseverance, courage and faith, strength and mindset….all the things that you haven’t had or given yourself!!!

You deserve better! You deserve to be fit and healthy and to REALLY love yourself for who you are and not what you look like.  I know you are unhappy with how you look right now, but change for the right reasons, not for some societal message or your old brain patterns telling you that you are not worthy because you are fat or unlikeable. I know you want love and connection and you want to feel significant but none of these things will be any different if you are thin!!!  Change for YOU, for your health and for wanting to be a great example for yourself; to show yourself you CAN DO IT!! 

say bye byeChange your thought process, love that little girl inside of you and tell her that it is not her fault.  She didn’t know any better, but you do. You have grown up now, and you are learning new tools to help with this part of your journey.

I am sorry that we have to end our relationship, because as you know, I do love a great long lasting connection, but ours has been unhealthy and I can’t be with you any longer.  I do love parts of you, but the painful and hurtful, unhealthy parts no longer serve me.

So goodbye, farewell, and thanks for what you have taught me that …. I am worthy of soooooo much more!I will beat her

Lovingly,

My new self!

Be Radiant

Be Radiant

 

womens-retreatThis past weekend there was an annual gathering of some amazing, strong, empowered, business ass-kicking women trainers who I follow on social media. Unfortunately the weekend took place in the U.S. far away from where I live and I was unable to attend. The event is called the Radiance Retreat.  Isn’t that a great name for a Retreat for women?

Knowing I was missing the retreat had me wondering what they were going to be talking about and whether anyone had come back feeling more Radiant and then of course my mind started wandering and wondering what exactly does Radiant mean to women, and to me?

The Google definition of radiant is: sending out light; shining or glowing brightly. Synonyms: shining, bright, brilliant, glowing, luminescent, lustrous, dazzling, shimmering, resplendent  Sparkle necklace

I love all of these words but I would also add a few more to my definition of a Radiant woman: courageous, fearlessly authentic, healthy, truthful, faithful, amazing, loving, worthy, precious and nurturing.

While the retreat is called the Radiant Retreat, the theme this year was  Taking up Space.  So how does taking up space and being Radiant go together?

Recently on social media and certainly in the musings of the women I follow, there has been a lot of chatter about “taking up space” and “not shrinking ourselves” and “playing bigger”.

I have been feeling for some time that I’ve been holding myself back from taking up space. I have not been glowing, shining, dazzling, felt worthy or any of the other words in my definition or Google’s definition from above. I suppose a lot of how you show up in the world starts with Mindset (if you have been following me, you know this is my word for 2017)  Our transformation always begins in our minds!!Transforming your mind

I have been playing it small, shrinking back, minimizing my potential impact and all because of fear and listening to the broken record in my head that says I am not worthy, that I have nothing to say and that I am NOT radiant. Well you know what?……I am throwing the BS flag on this one!!!

I AM RADIANT AND I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!

I will be fearlessly authentic and show my vulnerabilities and my gifts to the world and I will shine!!!

As women, it’s not unusual to spend a lot of time trying to downplay our strengths and in Christian circles we are told not to be prideful!  We’re told by others and society to not be so bold, to soften ourselves, and to make our bodies smaller…all so we can take up less space.

Sometimes, we’re point blank told to sit down, shut up, and be less _______ (fill in the blank), and other times we are “gently encouraged or told to be smaller”, “lose weight”, “oh you have such a pretty face, if only you were thinner”, “you have a BIG personality” and on and on it goes!

5367795-i-am-not-bossy-memeI remember as a child being told that I was too outspoken and too bold. I was never rude so how could I have been too outspoken or too bold? We know we need to encourage in our young girls, these traits, of boldness, shining with empowerment, taking up space, being authentic and fearless.  (Rabbit trail….I do however think that the pendulum has also swung very wide sometimes when we see the kind of aggressive and offensive sexualized images of women in the media …IMO!!)

I have spent a lot of the years of my life trying to minimize my body and my voice, to make them conform, because I have listened to society’s values, and not my own (or God’s). Maybe you can relate?

However, I am realizing late in my life that I DO have something to say and that I CAN take up whatever space my life needs and I CAN show the world my gifts and talents without fear of rejection and ridicule because that is what I am called to do. That is why I was given this distinct personality and these gifts.

Does this take courage? Heck YES it does!!!!

Brene BrownEven the most brave, courageous women I know have felt not worthy, not courageous and not shiny BUT……they looked for ways to show up bigger in life, felt the fear, acknowledged it, and went for it!

We are all Radiant! We all have something to offer the world.  How will you open yourself up to the possibilities and shine?

In health and fitness,

Coach Lori

Total Body Transformation Moves

Total Body Transformation Moves

You may or may not know this but not all exercises are created equal!

push-up-exerciseWhile single joint exercises, like a bicep curl have their place in an exercise program, and they do target and isolate muscles they fail to offer other benefits.  Some of these other benefits such as mobility, balance, and stability can be achieved through developing secondary muscle groups in multiple joint exercises.

Exercises can vary greatly in level of difficulty, number of targeted muscles and effectiveness based on your goals.  Generally speaking, transforming your body with total body exercises using multiple joint exercises is far superior to trying to use single joint moves. These multiple joint exercises are often called compound or complex exercises. The difference is mostly semantics for the beginner or intermediate client. Squats, push ups, lunges, etc, offer you multi joint activation and more calories burned because they engage multiple muscle groups.

squat A compound movement can be defined as: Any exercise that engages two or more different joints to fully stimulate entire muscle groups and, indeed, multiple muscles. … More major muscle groups can be hit with a smaller number of exercises.

Complex exercises, are one form of these exercises. Some of the multijoint movements that you can perform include step-ups, lunges, leg presses, dead lifts, push-ups and squats. Step-ups engage the lower body muscles

When I am drafting a program for a client I typically use a lot of multiple joint exercises.  The 6 moves below create all over body shaping benefits while improving flexibility, strength and balance. These added benefits are very important to our well-being as we age. Keep in mind that all of these exercises, are also functional movements. This means that when you are learning to squat, you are also helping yourself to be able to get up and down off a chair, or the toilet. Shoulder presses, help with over head movements like reaching for something in your cupboards. Lunges help with balance and mobility/agility, which is so important in our older years. Push ups just make you feel completely bad ass as you do them, but they also are a functional movement. They bring upper body strength for carrying heavy loads and helping us to get up from a sitting position or fall.

Follow the workout provided or add them into your own routine.

Equipment Needed: Bench or chair, set of dumbbells – begin with light dumbbells from 3- 5-10 lb. and work your way up as you become stronger

What to Do: Perform 10-12 reps of each move with 30 seconds of rest in between.

Beginner: 2 sets
Intermediate: 3 sets
Advanced: 4 sets

Move up a level when your current level is no longer challenging!

Exercises: 

  • Squats
  • Walking Lunges
  • Deadlifts
  • Shoulder Press
  • Push-Ups
  • Bench Dips

I hope you enjoy these 6 moves and will try them. Enjoy the videos below for some visual help with each move.  If you would like to chat more about these or other exercises or a program for yourself, feel free to contact me.

In health and fitness,

Coach Lori